Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he's not, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
He takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No he can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Baby won't you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

Life changing experience.. or sometin

I know I haven't posted in a while (a year or so?) but I did want to share this experience. It is kind of long but worth reading imo.

Weekend 15/16 – Written Sunday night 11:30pm

So yet again it’s a Saturday and I’m not doing much. Priscilla called me around 12pm and I was still sleeping; she asked me to go have brunch with her and I, without knowledge of what time it was, told her “yeah let’s go at 3” and she goes “oh my god, at three!? I’m starving!”. So I was like… ok it must be early in the morning, lol. We settled for 1:30pm. I tried going back to sleep but I couldn’t so I just got up and went to take a shower. While I was on the way to the shower I saw Shannon coming back from hockey practice, she looked so tired; they must be working so hard to win that championship plus I heard if they win next Friday’s game they are finalists and if they win the second game they win the national championship. That would be division 3 national champions, something that has never been done at Mville. I’ve always kind of wanted something like that, so that I can brag about it hehehe.

Well, I went to brunch with Priscilla and met up with JFo there, she didn’t have a place to sit so I offered her a spot in our table. I wasn’t very hungry so I had two fried eggs and two toasts with grape juice. I guess that opened up my appetite and then I had a sandwich, bacon egg and cheese in a toasted bagel. And yes, more grape juice, I will be pissing my life off today by going to the bathroom so much.

I got a very interesting message today on a certain website. I usually don’t check this site as the quality of perverted/old men is at a high rate but for some reason I decided to login today. This very cute guy, gray/blue eyes, light thin hair and gorgeous smile messaged me. It says in his profile that he is from Belgium so he must be visiting NY either for business or pleasure. It also says that he is 32, so he must be either lying about his age or I’m a fool because he damn well looks 26-28 to me. Very good looking guy, but unfortunately he is only staying until Wednesday and I have this week full of things to do. I was working Sunday-Friday 4-7pm so it would’ve been hard for me to figure things out at the last minute to go and meet him. On the other hand this guy looks so good and he is definitely my type of guy. I’m so picky sometimes I get frustrated with myself, why do I have to have such high standards for men? I wonder if it’s like that too for heterosexuals, wouldn’t they just bang a vagina even if the girl is not good looking?

So I thought about it for I guess an hour or so, I told him I would’ve loved to meet with him but that I was working so it wasn’t possible for me to meet him. Luckily the guy is not an asshole and actually replied to that message which I was very well surprised. I think I was the asshole when I said to him “maybe” I can figure something out and go to the city tomorrow Monday afternoon. I say I’m an asshole because this is the way I thought about it: I would definitely like to meet this guy, but I’m working. I have class 9-11 and 1-3, and work 4-7 plus I had to hang up those flyers for my program Tuesday night. I can however pull some strings and get paid back for some favors a couple people owe me at work and they can cover Monday afternoon at work for me. I could catch up after I get back from the city instead of posting the flyers in the afternoon I will do that at night when I get back from NYC. So I said, well since I’m such a picky asshole I will talk to this guy and see if he’s not an asshole like me, I mean he has been nice enough to contact me and also answer my message even though I told him I can’t go to the city at all. Turns out the guy was so nice to me, I really liked his personality. Even though it does sound a little bit shady just because it’s all on the internet and you can’t really tell for sure… but anyway I said ok, let’s meet on Monday around 5:30pm, giving me enough time to leave after my 3pm class. I am sure we would be able to carry on a conversation and most likely end up having great sex at the hotel he was staying at. There is nothing better than having sex with someone that you like both physically and mentally, somebody that is there not just for sex, so if I like the guy when I meet him tomorrow and he is nice then I am sure the sex will be great. I’m such an asshole for thinking like this, but it’s true, lol. I can’t have sex with someone I don’t get along or someone that can only talk about sex. If you can’t carry on a conversation then you aren’t worth it.

He is staying at the hotel Royalton on 44 street, I think I know where the hotel is because I looked it up on their website and I remember seeing that entrance. Shouldn’t have a problem anyway because I looked it up on mapquest and got the directions from Grand Central right away.

My brother messaged me just a little bit ago asking me about the checks they are making for my surgery. He is so stupid, both invoices say “make checks payable to”. I wish I could share my brain with him because sometimes I think that he lacks part of his, but I love him to death ehehehehe. I wouldn’t mind sharing my mind with him, and of course he is more knowledgeable in certain areas that I’m not so good at so I wouldn’t mind taking a piece of his! Tonight also the Mana MTV Unplugged 1999 album finished downloading. This is a great album with great music in it. It really reminds me when my dad bought his SUV because it had a CD player in it, which I might add that at the time was very, and I repeat very cutting edge, and we used to listen to this album over and over while riding along the coast and on the way to our mountain house.

So I was able to get Justin to cover for me at work, he said it’s no problem at all. I will be going to class 9-11 then 1-3, so right after that I will be taking the train to the city and should be getting to Grand Central around 5:10pm, then I will just walk to the hotel which is only about 3-4 blocks away. When I get back it should be before 12pm, so I will hang up the flyers and then go to bed early, get some rest. So I guess soon you will find out if it went really well or really bad! I’m kind of excited yet nervous.

Monday 17/18 – Written Wednesday 12:30am

Today I don’t even know where to start. It’s now 12:30am and I am so very exhausted. I have so much in my mind and I am feeling somewhat sad and pissed at life.

Monday morning the wind was blowing on my window pretty hard so I actually woke up before my alarm went off. I showered and went to Asian religions class where we talked about Confucius and his views on filial piety and education/learning. I think I can somehow identify myself with him, I was reading most of the analects and he has really high moral standards and strong ethics. We share the same principles I guess. After that I stayed in my room and went to eat until my 1pm class. The class went by pretty fast compared to every other day where it’s so slow I could die! After my class I quickly went and took my second shower of the day. I had to take the 3:55 bus to catch the 4:30 train so I had to hurry. Little did I know that such a great adventure awaited me back then...

I ended up getting to Grand Central around 5ish I think. Everything was converted to green; I had forgotten it was St. Patrick’s Day. It’s the day I like to joke where everyone thinks they are Irish. There were people drinking on the street and there were also people that were already drunk… already? It’s only 5pm people! I walked from 42 to 44 street where his hotel was. I must admit I was nervous, I hadn’t really though about it much. I was also carrying personal lubricant and condoms in my jacket, it has a lot of pockets but none of them close. Which actually brings me forward in time, I got back around 7:45pm and my lub wasn’t with me anymore… so either it fell out in the hotel where he hung my coat, or in the train… I really hope it’s the train because if it was the hotel he must’ve gotten a good laugh out of it, I don’t know. But anyway, I am getting ahead of myself here.

I found the hotel right away. Looked fancy from the outside, the butler opened the door for me and then two huge doors automatically opened for me. Nifty! The hotel was dark, it didn’t have a lot of light in it so my eyes were getting used to the lack of light. I couldn’t see people’s faces too well so of course that made me look very stupid and nervous. Right next to the entrance was a small sitting area where he was supposed to be waiting for me. There was only a couple business men sitting there so I went and sat opposite to them, even though I couldn’t see their faces very well I knew that it wasn’t him as they were all suited up and talking about… well business I guess. I unzipped my coat and took out my cell to call him. I got his voicemail so I guess he had no service inside the hotel. I decided to just stay there for a little while and see if he called me back once he sees the missed call. After all, I thought to myself, I never actually called/emailed him to confirm that I was coming. It was all Sunday, I think, when I said that yes I was coming on Monday but I never fully confirmed. Luckily this didn’t come back to haunt me, because he ringed me just a few minutes after and said he was just getting out of the shower and that he apologizes. How cute! He was coming down in a couple minutes which started getting me nervous again, and of course keep reminding myself: always remember to smile, don’t curse and don’t be too sarcastic at first. But what if he doesn’t like me, what if he doesn’t think I’m cute or I look different in pictures. Should my jacket by zipped all the way up or halfway? If it’s all the way up he will think that I’m cold and won’t ask to take my coat, but if it’s halfway down then it looks bad. Oh geez Luis don’t be so picky. It’s the battle between my mind and myself again, haha.

He came down, by then my eyes were already adjusted to the lack of light. My mouth dropped, he was absolutely gorgeous. I had to literally contain myself, I gave him a good hand shake and said something really stupid like “how are you?” or “very nice to meet you”. Luckily I wasn’t so nervous to say “whats up” or something my mother hasn’t taught me for when you meet new people! Well, even in the lack of light you could tell he had beautiful blue yes, makes my legs tremble. He had an European accent which I absolutely love, and his hair was light and thin. He smiled, what a keeper! A ten out of ten. Five stars. I should’ve kidnapped him, make him mine forever! I was going to do exactly that: kidnap him and make him mine, however I didn’t actually think beyond that… oh well. What is really nice is that from that moment I knew that he was such a nice guy, so gentle and thoughtful. Such a caring personality. Why can’t the world be full of people like him…

So Antti, very European name, invited me to a drink at the bar or to go up to the hotel room. We opted for the latest. I knew this wasn’t just going to be sex, I would like to talk to him first and get a better feeling of what his personality is like, get to know him better. I don’t regret it at all. We went up to his room on the eighth floor and started talking. He was such a gentleman; he took my coat and offered me something to drink. At this point I was hoping the lub wouldn’t fall off the coat, that would be so embarrassing. We shared pink lemonade Snapple. We talked for what seemed to be about an hour or so I guess. God I liked him so much, I wanted to kiss him so badly but I couldn’t be so obvious. I knew it wasn’t just a feeling of how hot he was, because he was very good looking, but it had more to do with a combination of that and the way he was, his personality and the way he expressed himself to me. It’s hard to find guys like him and honestly I don’t know if I will be lucky enough to meet two of him in one lifetime. Of course I was being all shy and wanted to rub his knee with my hand or his back and shoulders, but I didn’t, I’m too shy sometimes. I was being all shy and stayed well put while we talked. Sometimes I felt I was just going to jump at him while he was talking and kiss him. The more we talked the more I liked him. In several occasions he padded my shoulder or rubbed my knee. Ok, I’m not going to say that it made me hard but it definitely had a good effect on me, hehehe.

We talked about many things and after a while I, with what I think wasn’t controlling myself, just put my arm across his back and leaned over to kiss him. Wow, if I were able to express my feeling better in paper I could write a book on this. We kissed and moved to the bed. He was so romantic, which I love, so caring, so everything at the same time. What a great guy. We had great sex which I am of course, not going into detail. And then the test came up! Will he want me to leave right away or will he want me to stay for a bit longer. Of course he didn’t want me to leave, and neither did I. We laid there after sex, I surely fell asleep for a couple of minutes and so did he. What a perfect moment. We continued talking for a while and one of the things I joked about was how many guys he slept with in NY already. He said I was the first one in NY and of course I told him he was lying but I knew he wasn’t. It was something in his eyes that told me. Such a genuine guy, how privileged was I. As shy as I am, I think if I would’ve seen him at a club I would’ve asked him to dance with me.

We took a shower together which was really nice; the hotel had a good bathroom. We dressed and I asked him to come out for a bite with me. I took him to the dinner on 46 street, but it was closed so we went to a pizza restaurant close by. My mom always said that if I was out on a date with a girl (of course she didn’t know I was gay back then), if the girl had no matters or didn’t know how to hold a knife and fork I had two options. One, I could dump her or two, I could teach her manners so that she didn’t had to break her face when we all went out for dinner together. Of course, hypothethically speaking my mom always said she will love whoever I love and she will be happy as long as I’m happy. I’m not sure that has been the case in the past. But Antti had manners, and he did know how to hold a knife and fork. If I were to present him to my mom and go out for dinner is a whole new story. But we had dinner and we literally closed down the restaurant. He didn’t let me pay; he took the check away from me and wouldn’t let me see it. We then walked to Grand Central, he has never seen it before so I thought I could take him inside and show him the roof, etc. Of course, here I am thinking like a stupid retard: he’s European, he’s seen better places and the trains are much better in Europe, so like yeah… Here I was, at the moment thinking that it was going to be my last moments with him in New York. I took a picture of him on my cell, so that I could show Priscilla how hot he was. Well, he put money in my jacket and I wasn’t accepting it but he kept insisting that he pays for me. I don’t know why but I didn’t want him to pay my train ticket, he is too much of a nice guy, he is so thoughtful and caring. I accompanied him outside where I kissed him good bye. Immediately I got that feeling I hate: shallowness, something missing, envy. Something you want that you can’t have, no matter how bad you try. Loneliness.

While I was at Grand Central I got a call from Elizabeth, volleyball coach. I didn’t pick up as it was my last minutes with Antti, but I got a voicemail. They asked me if I could attend 6am practice the next morning. It was already 11:40pm and I called back; even though I knew I had to get back to the college and hang all the flyers around campus I said yes. At the same time with Antti stuck in my head, I was trying to figure out a way to get out of work Tuesday and come visit him again, I really wanted to and I was determined to do so: on my way back while on the train I called Jenna and asked her to cover my morning shift. I then called Peter and asked him to cover my afternoon shift. I then called Danielle and said I wasn’t going shopping with her in the afternoon. This is when I realized how much I like Antti, I’ve changed plans twice, two days in a row. Not gone to work two days in a row. I’m a structure person, I plan everything and I play by the rules. I usually would not do something like this.

I ended up going to bed around 2am. I woke up at 5am, and went to volleyball 6 to 8am. I went to the pub and got myself a bacon, egg and cheese bagel, then I called Antti and left a voicemail asking if he wanted me to come down again, I had made arrangements to go to the city and maybe we could do something together. I wanted to walk around the city with him, talk and simply spend time with him. I didn’t care if we didn’t have sex again, I just wanted to spend time with him. I went back to my room and showered, then lay on my bed. I had taken out the clothes I would wear if I ended up going to the city, so all I was waiting for was Antti’s call now. Luckily, and to my very much happiness, Antti called at 9:50 and said I was welcome to hang out with him, so I threw my clothes on and ran to the bus stop. The bus was leaving at 10:10am, Priscilla was already there as she leaves at that time to go to her internship. One of the comments she made was “wow you really like this guy that you’re going to skipping work twice just to see him”. Hell yeah I do. If I could take off work tomorrow morning I would take it off as well, just to spend one more morning with him.

So I got to the city around 11something, and I had breakfast with Priscilla. I then went to the hotel where I met Antti and he was having breakfast at the hotel lobby. So we sat and talked while he was having breakfast. He offered me breakfast but I had just eaten two bagels so I just had a glass of orange juice. We headed out and first went to International Center of Photography. Some of the exhibitions were really good, but let’s be honest: the best exhibition in there was Antti. He should’ve been a photograph in every corner. We also walked in the public library and took some photos at Bryant park. The library was really nice, I’ve never been in it and I liked it very much. Unfortunately, my legs were hurting from volleyball so I wasn’t very fond of the stairs. And let me tell you, this library had plenty of stairs. We also went to Chelsea and we walked all the way uptown looking for places to visit, but we actually just spend the whole time walking and talking cause we couldn’t find any of the so called museums on every corner. I had such a good time with him, he is such a good guy. He is the type of guy I would like to be involved in a relationship with. Maybe one day I will get lucky and the Gods will throw the dices in my favor! Oh if only…

We sat at Madison Square park, where I had really good memories of all my pets. There were a lot of dogs around the park and there was a husky. I really want a husky; I think they are the most beautiful dog breed. We passed the Empire State building and took more pictures, then went to eat to the dinner. I wanted to buy him a souvenir but of course he wouldn’t let me, and of course I forgot to buy it behind his back. Time crunched on us at the end so that is part of the reason. We also passed 51 street where that crane fell off, it was really bad it hit two buildings and there was dead and missing people. Heading back to the hotel I felt so bad for him, he was really cold and I could tell he was uncomfortable. I wanted to hug him and make him warm. I was looking at him and was about to cross the street but cars were coming and he pulled me back. At least I knew he didn’t want me death ahhahaha. He saved me, lol. We got back to the hotel where I showed him my facebook pictures and laid back in bed with him. I pause and think about that moment, what a great time and what a true feeling. Unfortunately we didn’t have a lot of time, and I kept thinking in my head ways of staying longer with him. Wednesday wasn’t an option as I had volleyball 6-8, an 8:30 meeting, 9-11 class and work 4-7 which I for sure coulnd’t take off. He is leaving tomorrow night, so it just didn’t work out for me. I also thought of taking a later train and tell Priscilla to go without me, but I couldn’t. I had to go eat, then I had my program at 9pm and staff meeting at 10pm. I was ready to cry as I didn’t want to leave yet. My eyes did water a little bit, sometimes life is so unfair. Luckily he didn’t see that. I’m such a baby.

We got to Grand Central on time, and I presented him to Priscilla. I hugged and kissed him goodbye very quickly as I didn’t want to cry or be all sad. After all, all my feelings were of happiness with him, so he didn’t need to see me sad. A part of me wanted to simulate a scene of a romantic movie where you make out and the dramatic music plays. Another part of me knew I would be very lucky to ever see him again. He looked at me in the eye and said it was a pleasure for him to had meet me, and wished me a safe trip back home. I was stuttering and said something really embarrassing like “yeah you too”. I kissed him in both cheeks and against my will I parted, walking to towards the train and closing my eyes with that last view of those gorgeous eyes. Today that memory sits in my mind at a very special place and will not be forgotten easily.

So I got on the train just in time as it was leaving. Priscilla made some comments about Antti. She has never liked anybody I’ve been with, and well with JohnPaul she had too much. Priscilla said: “I think he is the first guy I actually like very much and I can tell you two were into each other; I could see it in his eyes and yours as well. He is your type for sure”. What a great friend Priscilla is. I love her to death and even though I’m such an ass to her sometimes she knows I love her and I would do anything in the world for her.

We got back and headed for dinner, on the train I wouldn’t stop talking about how nice Antti was and bitching about life. After dinner I headed over to my program and then to my staff meeting. Here I lay, 1:30am and I have to wake up at 5am again for volleyball. I’m still surprised I changed my routine twice just to meet with Antti. I don’t regret any of it, and if I could I would do it again tomorrow. So now you know why I am sad. Tomorrow in group I will share my experience with him. I’m afraid my eyes will get wet, lol.

One normal day

Ok. Here it comes. A normal day of my life. This is like the basic routine, what I do mostly every day. It will probably be very boring, but I have provided many pictures to make it a little more interesting. And this is like still in the 'beta' phase of a project. In case you were wondering, there are no naked pictures of me. I only make those for special requests.

8:15am:
The alarm clock goes off, I snooze it.

8:20am:
The alarm clock went off again, so I snooze it, but this time I get up because I don't want to be late for work. I push the comforter away from me, growning because I don't want to get up. It's the feeling I have every morning when before I take a shower, which is why the first thing I do when I wake up is take a shower, it totally wakes me up. I don't believe in that caffeine thing.



8:30am:
Well, I took a shower and all that other cool stuff. When I get out of the bathroom, I notice on my desk some papers I had to sign and drop off at work. So I go like shit, I forgot about that. So I try to get dressed, check my emails and prepare breakfast before 8:55 so I can drop off the papers (the office opens at 9am), and still be on time for work. Which I actually am very good at compared to everyone else. I am always there at 9am sharp, and I am almost every time the first one there. Shit, even the supervisors get there at 9:15 lol.



8:51am:
I look at the clock, 8:51am. Fuck me! I will be late for work, quick, run! So I make my breakfast faster than Lindsey Lohan getting down on a penis, right? And I put everything in my bag but then I forgot, the stupid picture. Ok everything out of the bag and on the table, take the picture rapidly.



8:56am:
I get to the office of Residence Life. It still hasn't opened. Oh who cares, no one will notice if I get to work 5minutes late. Whatever. So the director of ResLife gets there and opens the office. But not before I take my lovely picture of the office closed.



Next thing I know its like 9am already and I put the papers where they belong, everything lovely, no time for picture all that cool stuff.

9:00am:
So I am heading to the castle, and I stop for a picture. I love taking pictures of the castle, I have like a million of them, but I don't think I am in one of those pictures. I should take more pictures of me.



The office I am heading to, you can actually see. It's the one on the left on the 3rd floor where the 2 windows and the air conditioner are. My other job is the 3 windows on the top of the castle. The 2 small windows at the very very top is the attic. And that place is really scary. Specially at night, I've been there cause I have keys to up there, and trust me, it's not that cool. But I feel special, cause almost nobody has had the opportunity to be up there. Well, anyways carry on.

9:05am
I get on the elvator and press 3R, the 3rd floor but the right side of the elevator. The way the elevator works, is that it leads you to 2 parts of the castle. So it has 2 doors, one in the front one in the back.



9:07am
As expected, nobody is there yet. Completely empty. I am the first one there, horray mission accomplished!



So anyways, I sit down start munching on my breakfast and my supervisor gets there and hands me in some sheets I have to do some data clearing in the system.



But not to be confused, at the same time I work I am also eating my breakfast. I am smart. See I have the capability of doing two things at twice with no problem. Sometimes three things, sometimes four. But I limit myself. Well, here I show my breakfast being eaten, as my supervisor asks me "why the hell you taking pictures of everything", so I was like "shuttup bitch mind your own business" right? Well not really, but I told her I was doing a storyline of today's day and she gave me the look so I gave her some Cptn Crunch and sent her off her way. I love my supervisor, she is so cool.



12:00pm
Well, the morning is gone working on those 3 sheets, thats all I did for the whole morning. Of course, I failed to mention that between 9:15 and 9:30am a couple other co-workers joined me. And of course, the sign in at 9am. Lol. Only in Admissions....
So I head down to Residence Life, which is where I work from 12 to 2.



I am continuing where I left off the last day. And that is, data entry. I put in Application for Residency files in the computer. Which pretty much looks like this:



And well as expected, that is all I did from 12 to 2

2:00pm:
So me and other 2 RD's (Resident Directors) decide to go to 'The Pub' where you can buy food on campus, and it's pretty much the only place you can go during the summer here. I took this way:



I ordered myself a grilled chicken sandwhich with french fries and a Soda. And Orbit bubblegum, which is supposed to be sugar free. Like I care.



Well, after eating all my meal and chatting with the two RD's, I decide to take a picture of what once used to be my sandwhich.



2:30pm
I head back to Admissions, where I work until 5pm. There was nothing to do that was important, other than data clearing and telecounceling. So that's what I did all afternoon. In the middle of the afternoon I remembered that I had bought Orbit bubble gum and hadn't had any yet. So I ate a piece.



I look at the clock, but it's only 4:30pm, it's not time to go yet.



4:50pm
Well the supervisor said that we could go early.



So I open the drawer and put my paperwork back into my folder and all that stuff.



5:00pm
So around 5pm I head over to the Tenney Communication studio, because I have to pickup some equipment for a video I have to film. The computers there are really awesome, when I used to do video editing for my class, I used to do it in this computer so I took a picture of it:



It was nice there, because they have an amazing air conditioner because all the computers in there make the room hot and all that. Well anyways, I took the camera and tripod out, and took it to my room.

5:30pm:
I get to my room and put down the equipment. And that was very heavy, I might add. It sucks to carry the equipment by yourself.



Anyways, not one day goes by that I don't play my guitar, so I had to take a picture of that. At the time also the camera was yelling for new batteries. But I managed with the dying batteries to transfer the pictures to my computer, so at the end it was all a happy ending.

Daily Overview

An awe-inspiring event makes you realize how little you understand your own potential. It's fascinating -- and a little scary, too. Now that you have an inkling of what you can do, it's time to find out more. Insight into how to please people may extend to the culinary arts. Your vision into what unites people as well as the understanding of the mystical regions of the mind is profound. You may be working and communicating with others in these matters and with music and the arts. New paths to world or personal unity are a major interest and you have a very practical sense of how to make your dreams real.

It's what the horoscope said.

I miss the snow =(

From a best friend.

From afar, Luis Nadal is the one person you can always count on for a smile. Whether it is a slick smirk that makes you know he is up to something or a genuine caring grin. I met Luis last summer while I was a summer RA here. He was on the training committee and had offered to help me with my presentation since I had done the typical thing and left it for the last minute. Before then, as a resident in Dammann when I was a first semester RA Luis appeared to be a quiet soul. I hadn't known much about him other then his name and where he lived, but I approached the presentation open minded about a new fellow staff member. I didn't realize he would soon become my best friend here at Manhattanville. Luis' kindness in offering to help with my procrastination wasn't just a one-time deal. It was simply the beginning of my recognizing what an honorable person he really is. Luis is the most selfless person I have ever met. Whether it be something minor like simply accompanying me to the store, so I don't have to go alone, or something larger such as keying into my room for me at 4am when he is asleep while I am hours away and left my AC on in sub degree weather I can rely on him to be there to help me. he is someone his residents, supervisors, staff members, and friends can all rely on. He is a very smart and talented person, and is often under appreciated for his talents. At a time when some of my closest friends from freshmen year and on have left Manhattanville to pursue other things, I have found a true-life long friends in Luis. While he does appear quiet, the truth is up close and personal he is anything but. He has injected life into our staff, willing to always put his best foot forward, even if it means projecting himself in an embarrassing way to take one for the team. He sacrifices his time, efforts, and personal life to always be there for anyone he can. I admire Luis a great deal and know what he is someone I can always rely on. I know i do not tell him everyday, but I hope it does not go unknown that I have found a true treasure of a friend with him, and I know he is someone I will have the honor of knowing for a long time to come. I can truly speak for the Spellman staff, and ResLife as a whole when I say how truly appreciated Luis is to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing him. I know my last few months would have been a lot of laughs short had I not met him and had the chance to work with him. I am grateful to call him one of my best friends.
-Priscilla Young

My summer jobs

OK so my first job: the title is "webmaster assistant", webmaster is the person in charge of a website, in this case i work with the guy that runs the college's website (http://www.mville.edu/). In this job i do routine updates, make sure everything is working right, and some side projects might include programming, scripting, or whatever the hell he wants me to do which includes running out and getting him a cigarette.

My second job (only for the summer) is called "office assistant" - i work 8-10 hours a week at the Office of Residence Life, covering for a receptionist (the office that deals with student housing, and anything that has to do with students on campus). There I pick up the phone calls, organize the office, I also do some filing and keep track of residents applying for housing. Other duties may include going to the store and buying food for the director or the assistant director.

My third job is called "student assistant/tour guide/telecounceler" at the office of Admissions in the college. Here I do data entry, I give prospective students tours around the campus, and I also call (by phone or email) prospective students to help them out with applying to our school, answer any questions or whatever. Other duties may also include buying food for my supervisor, sending letters, organizing papers.

My fourth job is called "RA" (resident advisor, or resident assistant, also known as "hall monitor", Resident Assistants (RAs) are undergraduate students who assist in the management of the residence hall by encouraging students to get to know the people they live with through regular educational programs.
RA job is the most important of all - I live in the freshmen building regularly, but for the summer I am in the upperclassmen building. As an RA I need to make sure when freshmen get here they are getting acclimated to college and if they have any questions or problems, be there to help them. So I pretty much am there for whatever students need me too. I feel so used.

The RA job also consists of making sure students are following the college's code of conduct which includes no drinking in the dry halls, or underage drinking. We also do educational and social programming and encourage students to interact, and do what we call "community building". So pretty much, I help people out left and right

Thats it lol. Well, i also help maintain and update a GSL website (global student leadership network), you can check it out http://www.gslnet.org/ I made that web. And i do that for free.

Finally, eh?

Ok, ok, yes I know that's it's been over a month, and yes I know I promised a post soon after my last one. I've been lazy, and aside from that I've been stuck with a lot of work. Only 3 weeks to go before this whole thing ends, then senior week, and I'm gonna be staying here for the summer to make some money.

Anyways, I went to Disney. I had a blast, it was so nice. Group of 45 college students, you can imagine the disaster. Here are some of the pictures:

































My fav rides were: Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Hollywood Tower of Terror, Aerosmith's Rock N Roller Coaster. I had sooooooo much fun, it was unbelievable. I wish I could go again soon, and they are already talking about doing another trip next year, sign me up for it!!

On another note, I went to a farm. Yeap, to do community service. I have pictures.



YES! The goats were sucking on my.... coat. No pictures of the cows, but they didn't shit on me, step on me, or anything crazy like that. I did milk the cows though, that was fun! I'm thinking about going again this weekend, let's see.

LOL on my way to DISNEY

OK so this is just a quick post that I'm doing to tell everyone (the 4 people that read this blog) that my plane landed in Orlando, and I'm actually on the bus going to the hotel right now. Tomorrow the fun starts, going to Disney and all that cool stuff. My boss has a laptop that has national internet, so you can connect to the internet anywhere in USA... really cool.

I apologize, I have another post coming that I've been building up, but I wont be home until Friday, soooooo yall will have to wait.

HappyLuis

My world.... no pink.

If I could make my own world, put stuff in it, take stuff out - bring whoever I'd like to; I'm thinking what would it be.



Whatever, I like this photo, and the planet Earth is a sun or whatever, it's my blog deal with it. And did I mention it's my world too? Get over it.
To start, there would be no pink cause that is my least favorite color. I'm not a perfectionist, but let me see, there would prolly be a lot of black red gray orange blue, stuff like that. My mom would be there, cause I need her to cook for me. I would have all my pets!




My Boss! Muah, as gay as it sounds. OK, so let me see. I would prolly bring my best friend Priscilla, the only person that knows all of my deepest secrets, muahahahaha. And yes, that means all the dirty ones too. Jealous? Don't be, careful what you wish for! Not everything is blue skies and sunny with green grass and hills (lol, Windows XP). I would prolly have to bring a couple other people, but I'm not about to make a list and then have everyone comment "Why was I not included in your list", get over it. I hate bitching and moaning so that would not be permitted in my world either. I would bring my parents, but I would change something. I would make them raise me being closer to them! So that I could tell them my dirty secrets too, without any expectations lol. Laugh at life, tell not only the good stories, but also the bad ones too. Unfortunately, mostly the bad ones always go to the same person. Some of the bad ones, I keep to myself. No matter how close you think you could be to someone, some stuff you keep to yourself. Even though if you are like me, that you wish you could tell the world some of the naughty ones lol, you just keep them to yourself. No, I'm not telling, get over it.
But I would also bring all my grandfathers, grandmothers, and all that stuff. But they would have a more important role in my life. Like, an actual grandfather and grandmother. Someone to take me for ice cream on Sundays, and gives me 20 bucks without letting dad know!

My world would be far from perfect, that is for sure. Sometimes people think that they would live happily ever after, if they get what they want. I do not wish to get everything I want. I just wish that I had more people like Priscilla in my life sometimes, someone that asks me every once in a while 'is there anything you want to talk about' or 'you wanna tell me about your bad day?'. Shut up, I don't need a stupid girlfriend.

I made this for my boss. He is leaving in May, after 4 years as a Resident Director he is moving on. I am glad that he hired me, my job has made me change my perspective about life. Such a valuable lesson in life. This is my staff,





I also made this for my art class. You laugh, and I will block you from my blog =p







=) Loves it!

Is my heart really that cold?

Yesterday, it was Valentines day. A great day for a lot of people! Some got hugs & kisses, perhaps even a cuddling session, others got lots of chocolates and presents from their best friends (aka Hallmark cards). Some others even got luckier, they got a girlfriend or a boyfriend that day. And of course, the even luckier, the ones that got laid.
Me for one, only got 3 mini-presents which are very appreciated. The first one was from my fellow RA and good close friend Jill, she gave me some candy with a cute note attached to it! My second gift came from this girl that I believe kinda likes me, but she is one of the residents on my floor so of course its not ethical! She gave me some Cinderella candy (lol). The third present was from a friend that plays volleyball with me and she is extremely cool, she gave me a small note (but no chocolate!). So it was all good.
I gave one present: a custom card to my best friend, saying happy Valentines. I made it myself, that is what counts. So that led me to ask myself, is my heart really that cold...?



Well, I do believe that people like to judge themselves a little bit, every now and then they ask themselves stuff like "am I a good person", "have I done right", "would I be a bad person if I don't do this", etc etc etc. I am happy to say that I believe that I'm a good guy, a great personality with a funny mix. Don't like violence or aggression, some people call me the pacifier, very settled with my mind clear on what I want. But I am not here to brag about myself.
What I wanted to talk about in this post was something that I thought about. I for one do not like Holidays. Valentines is one day, so what happens to all the other days? Why can't we show love and care for our friends and loved ones the other days in the year and yet we have to wait until Feb 14th to give them chocolate and a card with our signature on it, just so that they know that that day we are thinking of them. It's that whole expectation thing, "Ohhhh, you didn't give your friend something on Valentines day, means you don't love her" or whatever. Grow up please.
But don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with people that do it. If you like to live in that fantasy, go ahead. Just remember that there are 364 other days in the year that you can be grateful for having a good friend or a loved one. Just remember to give a phone call not only because it's someone's birthday or because it's Christmas. People appreciate more the calls on other days that are not Holidays. It's like that one special day you are expecting phone calls from people you expect to call. I will give an example: my birthday. Do you know how many I only hear from only that day? They pretend to care, I believe them. Thanks for remembering my birthday =p. Not to mention that they always ask the same questions ahhahahaha. I tend to get in a bad mood on my birthday, people expect you to go out and get wasted, it's today's society way of thinking about a good time. My mom always encourages me to go out and drink on my birthdays, and I always tell her the same thing: I do what I want, and if staying home on my birthday is what I want to do, so let it be. Isn't your birthday supposed to make you happy? Well, I guess that doesn't happen very often to me then! Maybe I'm the fucked up one, but I'm happy with what I do, I'm grateful for what I have and I love my life style. It's what it's all about, so deal with it. Not everyone is the same, if you make the decision of going out and getting wasted, then getting behind the wheel and driving back home so be it. I don't judge, we are adults - you make a stupid decision you assume the consequences. Don't come begging and saying I'm sorry, assume the consequences.

Maybe my heart is cold, but maybe I am just being realistic.

=D =D

I love how I can tell you anything,
That my heart is starting to feel,
With the openness of my heart,
You know my feelings are real

I love how I can talk to you,
About anything that comes to mind,
A person like you is indescribable,
And is very hard to find

I love the way I tell you,
What I'm feeling for you each day,
And you never seem to be shocked,
With some of the things I say

I love the way you understand me,
Like no one else could do,
This is another reason for me,
Wanting to be with you

I love you're personality,
Because you put a smile on my face,
And I would show you what I feel,
At any-time or any place

I love the way you ask me questions,
To find out more about me,
You make me feel so special,
Kinda, how loves supposed to be

So destined I'm to walk among the dark....

First, an apology because I haven't posted in a while but honestly I've just been out of it. But a shoutout for those that I know that pop their heads in every once in a while (Yani, Ayari muah!). I do this for fun, it's not like its the diary of my life, but yeah what can I say! I do get emotional every once in a while, hahahaha. But no, the point is that I don't post everything that goes on in my life here, there is way too much about me that only my best friend knows. And yes, I mean way too much (get those dirty thoughts out of your heads!!!!!!).

During RA training of summer 2006, my boss told us something very valuable (he has told us a lot of valuable stuff, but this is just one that has sticked to my head and that I use it often). We were doing a workshop on ethics, and I felt that this was very useful not only for our job, but for life. To make a long story short, what he explained was that if you have to question yourself if what you are doing is right or wrong, it is more likely that it is wrong. And if you really put thought into it, you will find yourself agreeing to what he says. Think back and try to recall those times that you had to ask yourself, "hmmmm, should I really be doing this?". Chances are that everything turned out to be ok, but the chance of it going wrong was higher. Consider yourself lucky if you have been in this situation.

Wooot!!!!

Well, hello all! Once again, the spirit is out there, finally eh!? Past week, or I would say 2 weeks, have been really long, rough and I didn't like them. But hey, guess what? I'm freaking done with finals. They were hard, tedious, 4am in the morning still doing stuff, not a lot of sleep, but yes, finally I am done. And as of today I completed all my duty hours, I am done with that too. Now, FINALLY I can go take a haircut, lol. I've had so much to do I haven't been able to do even that, yeah I know. But anyways, I think in like 20min I will be getting a ride to the mall, and I'll get a haircut. Oh, and I need to shave too...
Tomorrow: going back home, and I still need to pack. And I don't have time, lol. So goodbye for now, but more to come soon! Hopefully.

~HappyLuis
[Can you feel the Christmas Spirit?]

If there is one thing I hate....

If there is one thing I hate, is being sick. I can't stand it. Right now, I have a cold, I'm congested, I think I have fever. Thank God my throath stopped bothering me, cause that would be just it, lol. I wanna go to bed (which I am shortly lol), I haven't been able to sleep in 2 days because I keep waking up coughing and sneezing, it really sucks. I just took some pills and cough medicine, so hopefully that will make me drowsy and I can have a good night sleep. Tomorrow I have class at 10:45am, good thing is I only have class until 1pm, then I have work until around 4, then I can go back into my room and rest some more. I think that's what I'll do. Right now, I need my bed. Right now, I wanna go home and forget about finals, work, and everything else. Although I'm not sure how much I will be able to rest at home, lol.

SICK Luis.

Fo! Que frio =\

Eureka!

Howdie all. I know, I know.. haven't posted in a while, but I've been busy =). Well, the past week was interesting, or what can I say. To start off, the three days before Thanksgiving (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday) were horrible. Like literally no1 at all was going to classes, they were all empty. Go figure, most of my classes have like 8 people in them.
So anyways, I was supposed to leave to the city Wednsday afternoon; a good friend of mine invited me over to his place since I didn't want to spend money going to Boston as I usually do for Thanskgiving (reason for that is I am saving money for my Disney trip, spring break 2007). Well, it turns out that my French teacher had the awesome idea of giving us a QUIZ, the wednesday before Thanksgiving. What a fag. Anyways, moving on!
I take my train in the afternoon, everything cool, everything good. Well, go to bed early, we get up at 5am so that we can make it on time to see the parade. But of course, nobody told me that the parade started at 9am... so yeah, there we were, standing on 58th and Broadway, 38 F, 15mph winds AND rain, just so that we get a front row spot. I've never been so cold in my life lol. So yea, from 6am to 12pm, standing there trying to warm myself by rubbing my hands, eff that I couldn't feel my hands, feet or anything else (if you know what I mean). But the parade was really cool, there was A LOT of stuff, but here are my favorites:

The SpongeBob Squarepants!


The Monopoly guy, really cool


Garfield


Pink Panther


The Animal Planet float



Well, all of these were really cool, but there were also a number of marching bands that were awesome, I've never heard them live and I was really amazed, because as they march forward you get to hear the same song but with different instruments played, so yeah it was really nice.




Well, other than that I just wanted to make a "stand out" for this other Blog I found that was really nice and good to read:

Sin Claudicar


So long, maybe I'm forgetting something just post it on comments =)